Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christina Aguilera plays an up-and-coming star

"Burlesque" starring Cher and Christina Aguilera.
7/10 on my bangin' scale.

Beware: there may be some minor plot giveaways.

Ok, guys. I know you've heard that this movie sucks. And honestly, the dialogue is probably among most horrible I've ever heard. I can't blame it all on the acting (even though Christina Aguilera has never been in anything for realsies), because Cher is a movie great. The plot is nothing to go for either. Since when is a quick bit of real estate law a major eye-opener?

But here's why I thought this movie was actually fairly dece: The music. And luckily, the people who made the movie know that's why anyone would pay to see it. (Well, by "anyone", I mean me, Shobs, and two other people... I guess no one wanted to see it at 10.10 pm in Georgetown on a Tuesday night a month after it was released.)

Song rundown: Cher ensemble performance. Yesss. Many ensemble performances without Cher or Christina. Ok... fun, but clearly lacking flair (...that's how it's supposed to be. They need a new great). Cher solo diva performance. Incredible. I mean, no rival to something like this, but... let's be srrius, who didn't go there for that exact moment? Also, she's 64? Can't tell from this. And no auto tune a la "Believe". Then Christina has a go. Or two. Or... something like five? You know, they really did not do her justice giving her songs like "Genie in a Bottle" back in the day. This girl can sing. Also, why is she so skinny?

Basically, I don't know why everyone is hatin'. It's def's the same thing as "Glee". Bad plot with lots of dancing and uber-gay singing. Good time if you ask me.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Merry Christmas songs.

I decided to make a list of my favorite Christmas songs this year. Apparently this year I like songs with stupid sexual innuendo in them. Also, songs that are just confusing.

  1. Santa Claus Got Stuck In My Chimney - Ella Fitzgerald: Is this song forrealz. No, seriously. Listen to it. I love it.
  2. Christmas Tree - Lady Gaga: This was one of my favorites last year, too, but... Merry XXX-mas. What do YOU think she's referring to when she says "my Christmas tree"?
  3. You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch - K.D. Lang (and that annoying dude who plays Mr. Shue) on Glee: Why was this on TV? This is in the confusing category.
  4. Master It's Cold Outside - Cosmicity: A somewhat hilarious robot take on the date rape classic. Also, can't stop dancing.
  5. Baby It's Cold Outside - Glee kids: I only like it because it is gay. The song is still creepy. 
What are your favorites this year?

    Wednesday, December 8, 2010

    Seattle's best street art

    Seattle likes street art. My personal favorite work is in the parking lot across from Petco and an art supply store (I suppose it was the artists, not the pets, that did it), and next to the Tetres building.

    Regarde!





    Mural... no really, on a scale from one to ten, YOU are an eleven!

    Thursday, December 2, 2010

    WINE WORLD Grand opening.

    I'd say 50-100 wines to sample (maybe 30 stations). As many as you'd like. Chocolate, cake, beer samples, as well. Older women in sequins galore. Schmaltzy jazz band. Once they cleared out (around 8pm), the younger University crowd popped in. Too bad you missed it, eh?
    All for wine and wine for all. And fake candle.
    The store was big as an Office Max, but it surprisingly wasn't packed  H2T with wine. Maybe that's because they haven't gotten all their shipments yet.

    A bedraggled second crowd makes its way towards one of the huge wine tasting stations.

    Tuesday, November 23, 2010

    you wont believe your eyes



    There was only about 1-2 inches this morning.

    Saturday, November 13, 2010

    Haddaway has street cred

    This video is not new anymore, but I like it because... It samples Haddaway, mutha fuckas. Haddaway.

    For some reason, I really like Lil Wayne. I think he is a marketing genius, even if he is gonna die soon from cough syrup overdose. He sure knows how to make money, and I respect that.

    Then there's Eminem. He clearly can rap. I might say he kills it in this song. But, can you really kill Haddaway? Haddaway will never die. PS. Also, remember Em is old. Because he actually knows who Haddaway is. (But he's not as old as Jay-Z, who remembers "Forever Young.")



    But seriously, Haddaway's song/video. Way better. Apparently Haddaway's lover(s) are vampires. Also, he has electric powers. Storm (Or the MK III ripoff, Sindel) style. And he is rockin the open vest look. Oh, the ninties.

    Sunday, October 31, 2010

    DC

    Do you remember the Fourteen Commandments of Destiny's Child in "The Writing's On the Wall"?
    1. Thou shall not hate.
    2. Thou shall pay bills.
    3. Thou shall confess.
    4. Thou shall not bug.
    5. Thou shall not give in to temptation.
    6. Thou shall not think you got it like that.
    7. Thou shall not leave me wondering.
    8. Thou shall know when he's got to go.
    9. Thou shall move on to the next.
    10. Thou shall get your party on.
    11. Thou shall say my name.
    12. Thou shall know she can't love you.
    13. If thou can wait, then thou shall stay.
    14. Thou shall cherish life.
    Perhaps I can appreciate these more now that I'm not 12 years old anymore. Ingenius. My personal favorite is "Thou shall not think you got it like that."

    Maybe I should pull a "Living Oprah"-type stunt, and only live by these 14 commandments...

    Wednesday, October 20, 2010

    I love-hate Nicki Minaj.

    She sounds like a child. She looks terrifying. She wears a lot of makeup, usually has weird hair. Basically, she's the rap version of Snooki. Who am I talking about? Nicki Minaj.

    Her solo songs definitely suck. Like seriously. "Your Love"? WTF WAS THAT CRAP? (I refuse to even link to it!) That's not what Cher invented the auto-tune for!

    So basically, I'm just gonna talk about how I enjoy/cannot stand her musical menages.

    1. "Bedrock" Young Money (the group started by Lil Wayne that has like a gazillion young rappers in it, including Nicki Minaj)



    Nicki makes her rap entrance at 1:30. I encourage you to start watching then (although Mr. Wayne's reference to a soccer team and Mr. Lloyd's lyric about being Mr. Flinstone are also amusing). As the scene opens, Nicki adjusts a large bling necklace that says "Barbie" in script letters, drawing attention to the fact that her cleavage is like... whaaaaa. But that aside, we note that she will be playing her sexy little girl persona for the evening, thank you very much. She does a fake baby laugh, she's "so pretty like," and she pretend rides a "pedal bike". Are we supposed to want to make the beds of little girls rock? AHHHHHHH SO BAD! Or is she trying to make someone else's bed rock? I am confused. But then she kills it:
    He say, Nicki don't stop you the bestest,
    And I just be coming off the top asbestos.
    (Asbestos is pronounced to rhyme with bestest.) Where did that come from? <3 <3 <3's. I am terrified of asbestos. I keep my asbestos training certificate on my fridge.

    2. "My Chick Bad" Ludacris feat. Nicki Minaj



    You should probably listen to the whole song because it's Luda, and he clearly outshines Nicki in this song. But... this video portrays the scary Nicki. But anyway, Nicki starts around 2:10. Oh, she's supposed to be scary. She raps about scary things, you know, Freddy Krueger, Jason, Lisa Leslie??? WTF. But aside from the stupid barbie scissorhands costume and the marginally hilarious rap.... Why is she an unblinking robot? A question for the ages.

    3. "Bottoms Up" Trey Songz feat. Nicki Minaj



    Start at 2:40. This song is getting much airplay on Movin92.5 these days, and I couldn't help but notice that it is the perfect blend of both sexy child AND terrifying monster (still unblinking robot, too). Also, she is more like Snooki than ever, cuz she is a drunk (but, also like Snooki, a good-hearted one. "We give a lotta money to the babies out in Haiti"). This is probably her best rap of the bunch, because it is completely unstructured, which I guess is the point, because she's supposed to be hella tanked. But the scariest part is when she does her baby sing. The baby sing. Listen to the baby sing. Why is it so off key?  This is exactly what I would imagine Snooki sings like.

    And then Nicki Minaj talks to Anna Nicole Smith. In her drunken-rap.

    Friday, October 1, 2010

    Why is the Madonna episode of Glee still so good?
    Discuss.

    Friday, September 17, 2010

    Wins

    WNBA Finals game 2, from the cheap seats.
    The Seattle Storm win the WNBA championship, and I win because now I get to go on a cruise.

    Monday, September 13, 2010

    Homegrown: makes you grow.

    (7.5/10 on my bangin' scale)

    This weekend we paid a visit to the Melrose Market street festival. I've been pretty excited about this place ever since I saw the heads up about this place in the NYT.

    The festival sucked. Every time we went inside for like 15 minutes, we'd miss a whole band's set. There wasn't that big of a crowd despite the fact it was nice out. (Maybe they were all at the concurrent Storm game? Maybe Seattle is too huppity (hip/uppity?) to go to something that is basically a giant Grand Opening?) Their extra food tent (yes, singular) consisted of $12 lamb pitas. I don't care what chef prepared them. They are still basically a gyro. And they are still twelve dollars.

    Lucky for us, Homegrown filled that empty space inside. Maybe I'm confusing my expectations and my stomach, but... whatever. Yummy in my tummy is better than pretty much anything. Foodz, in pictures:
    Meatloaf BLT: meatloaf, BLT, cheese, some kind of horseradish, "hazelnut romesco" (wtf is that) on toasted french bread.

    This sandwich was a bit ambitious. It could have gone a bit wrong what with all the people waiting (it WAS supposed to be a festival, goshdarnit). Personally, it was pretty good, but there were a few too many flavors at once. I'd tell them to take a couple out, and it'd be perfection.

    Beet Salad: beets, fennel, greens, goat cheese, and LAVENDER vinaigrette
    The lavender was pretty much the only curve ball, but it was surprisingly good. PS. The above sandwich and this salad were "half-sized" so you could get both for $10. By half-sized, they probably meant half the size of me, or something. Effin huge.

    Prosciutto, melon, and burrata grilled cheese: What the name says it is.
    Sorry for the photo of partially eaten food, but this shit was the 3-pointer-at-2.5-seconds-left-in-the-4th of the group. Srriusly. How it wasn't half eaten by the time I pulled out my camera was beyond me. Om. Nom. Nom. Nom. Om. Nom. Nom. Om. Om. Nom. Nom. Om. Sweet/salty. Gooey/crispy. Me likey.

    Go there.  

    Homegrown on Urbanspoon

    Sunday, August 29, 2010

    WTF, Seattle? Part VI. (Buttons to Cross Street)

    Why do you always have those annoying pressy buttons at large intersections? I haaaaate the buttons. Is it really that hard to change the light to the walk man (not the red hand) every time the light changes?

    While I'm at it, why don't you have crosswalks pretty much anywhere except for where you have pressy buttons?

    Saturday, August 28, 2010

    I am missing this

    The nice days of Seattle. In Golden Gardens Park.

    Tuesday, August 17, 2010

    Primaries

    Last year, I introduced you to Goodspaceguy, who was running for King County Executive. This year, he's running for Washington State US Senator. The results will still trickle in over the next week or so (King County, a big one in WA votes by mail only), but he already has more than 3,000 votes.

    More surprising, however, is Mike The Mover. Seriously. Click that link. I cannot figure out what is up with that guy. For example, in his essay(?) "Letters from Fort Condom" on his campaign site, he writes,
    TWO DAYS LATER: TV TALKIN’ “TO ME”: What do you think of the health insurance bill?
    MTM: Health insurance? I can barely afford auto insurance. What are you talking about?
    TV: “Are you on food stamps? Do you need government coupons?”
    MTM: Sign me up!
    TV SCAM ARTIST: “Do you need government assistance, in the form of a pay day loan?”
    MTM: Leave me alone.
    PHONE SOLICITOR: “I’m sure we can’t help you. This is a recorded message.”

    If you can make sense of this. Please, please tell me.

    PS, this guy currently has more votes than Goodspaceguy, at over 4,000. Good thing only two people advance to the run-offs?

    Saturday, August 14, 2010

    It's record heat again

    According to the Seattle Times, that is.

    You know something's up when your furry roommate doesn't move when she has ice on her.

    Wednesday, July 28, 2010

    Port Angeles: Invitational Sand Sculpture Competition

    History of the radio (what an old contraption).

    This one was supposed to be the epic battle of robot vs person. The person is the sand sculptor. I think they are in love or something. Or maybe the robot is sad its owner died. Who knows.

    This one is probably from a movie. I never watch movies.

    I don't really understand this one, but maybe it's because I haven't seen I Robot. Movies.

    Planet of the Apes. LOOK AT THE APE'S HEAD.

    Alien vs. Bender, clearly the most detailed.

    Leia and Luke, just chillin.          

    Cool timez. Which is your fav?

    Wednesday, July 7, 2010

    Silly bandz are the coolest

    When I was home, my sister introduced me to the silly band. For those of you who are clueless like I was, these bands are all the rage among the youngsters. You know, pog style.

    My sister had sweet DINOSAUR silly bandz. I decided I needed some, too. I endeavored to search every CVS and Duane Reade (pronounced dwan-A reed-A) in a 7 mile venture on the island of Manhattan. My search proved unfruitful (except for ripoff versions in Chinatown).

    Instead I settled for 'shaped rubber bands' that I found at a ShopRite supermarket in New Jersey.

    Their schtick: They look like colorful rubber bands on your arm.


    But... when you take them off, they are AWESOME SHAPES.

    I seriously think these things are super sweet. What is wrong with me? Am I turning 7 this weekend? I think not.
    Does anyone else like that Eminem got Rihanna for that song he did about domestic violence?

    It's still wayyyyy worse than the Jump Smokers song, though.

    Saturday, July 3, 2010

    WTF, Seattle? Part V. (Protect Tree Signs)

    Seattle, I know you love greenery and the outdoors and such... but what's with all the "protect tree" signs and barriers? Putting up plywood and fliers at EVERY tree at EVERY construction site in the city probably kills nearly as many trees as it saves...
     Tree protection devices at a construction site on 41st Street NE.

    Public notice to protect a tree on 41st street.

    ...But then again, maybe city trees are worth more than other trees... Equality for all trees!?!

    Monday, May 24, 2010

    Gross.

    I just wrote this on my homework. At least I can still recognize that it's gross.




    error sensitivity

    Friday, May 21, 2010

    Kelis

    If you know me, you know that I'm a big fan of Kelis. Caught Out There was always good for a scream, Trick Me was bumpin', and Like You was sheer 7th grade lyrical genius.

    I don't know what she's been doing since she split up with Nas, but she is now an electronica/ dance artist. That is right. Kelis' latest album, "Flesh Tone," which was released this Monday in Europe, is DANCE music. Like, gay club style.



    All of the music on the album is equally dance-y. I don't know if I will be able to handle this change, mostly because right now I think it might be a joke. The songs are dece.... and good for her for breaking out of her shell... but... what happened to the Kelis that brought us songs like "Milkshake"?

    What do you think about her post-Nas transformation?

    Friday, May 7, 2010

    Breaking News

    I just received this official email from the biostatistics department:
    did someone leave a goldfish in the biost offices? poor thing --

    someone tried to feed it some bread...i don't think they eat that so unless you have fish food, please don't feed the fish.

    anyway, if it's yours, please claim.
     Too much excitement for one day up in the H-wing, 's all I can say.

    Sunday, May 2, 2010

    WTF, Seattle? Part IV. (Utilikilts)

    I'd never encountered the Utilikilt before coming to Seattle. What is up with them, Seattle? Are they hip? Are they so old they're out of fashion now? Has anyone ever seen them elsewhere?


    Wikipedia tells me they originate here in Fremont. I first noticed them at their flagship store in Pioneer Square. I've heard about them since in an awkward clubbing story and on this Pemco Insurance radio ad:




    So what do you think? Would you wear a Utilikilt?

    Friday, April 2, 2010

    Nashville Eats: Perfect Pig

    About a 40 minute drive out of Nashville lives Carl's Perfect Pig, a legendary Bar-B-Que joint. The ribs were prolly the best thing I tried, but everything was darn good. I think I'll just post photos (copious amount of meat to follow).

    Meat and Three: Pulled pork, mac-n-cheese, baked potato (w/ sour cream, cheese, bacon), turnip greens ($7.50)

     Meat and Three: Ribs, cucumbers & onions, corn, baked? beans (~$11)

    Meat and Three: Pulled pork, fried okra, turnip greens, mac-n-cheese ($6.50)

    Full slab of ribs. (~$15)

    8.5/10 on the bangin' scale.
    Carl's Perfect Pig on Urbanspoon

    Thursday, April 1, 2010

    Nashville Eats: The Picnic

     Welcome to the refined South, ladies, welcome.

    That's what you think when you walk into the Picnic Cafe at the far end of the parking lot of the Hill shopping center in the Belle Meade neighborhood of Nashville. Blue and white china plates on the walls add to the... dare I say...almost-old-lady-English-tea-room vibe I get as I look around. But, no, not quite. 
    Decor at the Picnic, Nashville, TN
    The Picnic is an order at the register and we'll bring it to you establishment, but the table setup is much fancier than you would expect at such a place. You feel inclined to gossip for an afternoon at some of the sunny tables near the windows, or on the patio outside.
    Tables at The Picnic, Nashville, TN

    Before arriving I'd been told to try the chicken salad and the special The Picnic punch. Chicken salad. Delicious. Picnic punch. Sweet, but not too sweet. I had to go back for refills. I also tried the pimento cheese sandwich, which was also quite delicious. It was the first time I'd tried pimento cheese, but I can definitely say that if all pimento cheese tasted like this, I'd eat it all the time.

    Chicken salad sandwich and pimento cheese sandwich at The Picnic, Nashville

    Overall, I'd give The Picnic an 8/10 on the bangin' scale, for a combination of food (Please sir, I wahnt some more?), ambiance (because china plates, matching tablecloths,  paper doilies are where it's at!), and experience (OMG this exists!).


    Sunday, March 28, 2010

    Peace Park

    It's springtime and Peace Park is in full bloom. I must say, Seattle has a host of tiny parks in some weird places. This one is at the entrance to University Bridge, which is a rather highly trafficked area. This park is pretty awesome because Seattleites take it upon themselves to dress the statue of Hiroshima victim Sadako Sasaki in cute clothes and paper cranes.

    Monday, March 15, 2010

    Pair: Good for pairs.

    Pair
    (7/10 on my bangin' scale)

    30th & 55th NE, right on the 30 bus line.

    Very cute setting, pretty dece service, with kinda sexy-lighting at night. The food is quite good, and they also have some great wines (not that I tried any of the super expensive ones...) to be PAIRed with the food. OMGZ HOW PUNNY!!!!!! Their dishes are French/American "tapas"-style (aka small dishes at $7-$15 a piece, that you share). They suggest getting 2-3 per person. 3 per person would definitely be way too much, 2 is a big meal, provided that you get dessert at the end.

    Dinner: The Cambozola fondue--served with pear slices, toasted bread (oh... wait "crostini"), and apple slices-- was tiny/cute and fun to eat. (Also, it was good, because it was CHEESE.) The wild salmon toasts (with shallots, capers, creme fraiche) and filet mignon were OK, but I'd definitely prefer getting a double order of their so-delicious-omg-i-want-it-right-now cassoulet (along with, maybe, a side of sauteed greens). Just to clarify, I want a double order because I'm a fatty, not because the plates are particularly small. Desserts are pretty good. Try some apple crispy pastry thing, or their creme brulee.

    Kinda-sexy lighting: Cambozola Fondue by candlelight.
    Happy Hour (5-6:30): Frequented mostly by early-bird retirees, this menu features bite-sized (but pack a huge taste) brisket sliders, mac-n-cheese, and cheesy poufs (they call them "gougeres") for $5 or under. Tasty McTasterson Sidecar Cocktails are the special drink (a brandy martini) at happy hour. Despite their yumminess, they're not too popular, so don't order too many, or they may run out! Glasses of house wine are $5 and pints of beer are $3.
    Brisket Sliders: 3 for $5 at happy hour.

    It's probably best to bring parents when they come to visit or a date; they only take reservations for big parties (6+), but don't appear to cater tooooo well to them. Or, maybe they just want to serve the people with the bucks.

    Pair on Urbanspoon

    Friday, March 12, 2010

    "I hope this turns into a full length epic like 'Trapped in the Closet' "

    For the two of you who haven't seen this yet. Lady Gaga. Beyonce. OMFG.

    Sunday, March 7, 2010

    My second favorite Whoopi Commercial.



    Ok, maybe it can be my first. (Compare to this.)

    Thanks to Kat who gave me the heads up, since I'm not watching the Oscars.

    Sunday, February 28, 2010

    Vancouver 2010 in photos

    We got to meet two of the super-cute mascots of the 2010 games.

     
    Zipline over a central square in downtown Vancouver


    The Olympic Torch, aka cauldron.

    We saw the US women obtain one of their two victories; Here, the super-adorable China team beats the German team.

    Vancouver department stores show glittery curling fever.

    Photos courtesy of Betsy. I forgot my camera battery.

    Sunday, February 21, 2010

    More cowbell

    Olympic women's curling: pretty durn awesome. The spectators have no clue what a curling game is supposed to be like (aka silent, pretty boring), so they scream/have fun, and make curlers cry because they can't hear their skip yelling "HURRY HARD" like none other.

    Three best loud-ass moments of the 2pm February 20th draw:
    1. Thousands of spectators simultaneously yell "HARD," when US skip Debbie McCormick needs some help for an end's final shot.
    2. All 6,000 spectators stomp and do the wave, much to the dismay of the curling teams.
    3. Pretty much everyone in Vancouver Olympic Centre buys a cowbell. And rings it the whole time.
     The US beat GBR 6-5, although they got pwned this morning versus Canada. A bunch of other teams played, too. The Chinese team made some hella impressive shots...

    Photo courtesy of Megan. More photos to come, hopefully.

    Tuesday, February 16, 2010

    WTF, Seattle? Part III. (Compostable take out boxes)

    WTF, Seattle? Does having fancier take home boxes make you feel special? You'll never ever see plastic-coated cardboard boxes, let alone styrofoam (*gasp*). Mostly, all you get is these compostable doodads:
    Occasionally, when you are ordering from a Chinese restaurant, you'll get something out of the ordinary like this one... it's all plastic, and therefore recyclable... but... plastic is bad? I'm confused.
    Do you compost your fancy-schmantzy take out boxes? Do you wish you could?

    Part III of things that are strange (not bad strange, just different) in Seattle.

    Friday, February 12, 2010

    Curling.

    I'm gonna post about curling, mostly to have awkward photos of myself up on the internet, but also because I am excited that I am going to watch Olympic women's curling in Vancouver. I'll be sure to update you on the games, once I see them... I'll be going to one of next weekend's Saturday draws, featuring the US vs Great Britain.

    A rundown on the team. This year it's Team McCormick for the US women. They've won the US nationals titles for the past four years. They should fare better than the US team from the 2006 Olympics (who came in 8th out of the 10 qualifying teams), but they will be significantly less hot... mostly because they are older.  Not that they are not hot, I'm just sayin' they're like mad older than me... I believe one of the ladies on team McCormick may be the oldest female Olympian this year.

    A rundown on the game. There is strategy. There are stones that are 'thrown' down the ice: 


















    Then, there is sweeping. That's for helping the stone go farther and straighter (cuz it curls)! See?

    Mostly, though, curling is for drinking....










     and making an ass of yourself:

    I'm ready for the 2010 Olympics. BRING IT.