Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Stoneburner: Summertime Eats

Stoneburner
Ballard Ave NW near 20th Ave NW
7/10 on my bangin' scale

Head to Stoneburner for the outdoors cafe feel without actually having to sit in the sun (we live in Seattle, so we'd melt). Big windows open onto Ballard Ave, which also makes Stoneburner a prime location for people watching.

The roasted cauliflower sandwich was enjoyable, which totes surprised me. I was probably surprised because they declined to mention on their menu that the sandwich would have a mint-flavored sauce in addition to the listed charred spring onion and Montasio cheese. I love mint, so it was delish. However, I predict that some mint-haters gonna hate. The sandwich comes with perfectly crispy house-made chips seasoned with black pepper.

Roasted Cauliflower sandwich with mint-flavored sauce (see the green?).
 
Final thought: is Coldstone pissed by this name?


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Monday, July 28, 2014

Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away:" Grad School Anthem

I know I already brought attention to this song in a previous post, but I just wanted to highlight that Kelly Clarkson's 2006 hit "Walk Away" is potentially the most grad school song ever.

Are you in a graduate program? Do you have any capacity to show emotions? Then you have probably thought the following:
1. I'm too stupid to be here. This is usually due to the fact that you're surrounded by insanely smart people, not because you are actually stupid.
2. I want to leave. This is because of a combination of #1, getting paid basically nothing, and working your butt off to get paid basically nothing.
3. Why am I constantly proving my intelligence? A big problem with grad school is that your personal self worth is defined by how smart other people think you are. WHO CARES?!?

Kelly Clarkson addresses all of these things in "Walk Away."

1. I'm too stupid to be here:
You've got your mother and your brother
Every other undercover
Tellin' you what to say (say)
You think I'm stupid
Clarkson's lyrics start off strong by evoking one of the grad school big three. Imagine your mother/ brother here are your profs, your advisors, or the people in charge of grading your qualifying exams. This is exactly how you feel in grad school. Grad students are the poor, "uneducated" peons of academia.

2. I want to leave:
I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away
The refrain hits point #2 reallll hard. How many times have I seriously considered leaving grad school? Potentially too many to count. How many times have you considered it? Clarkson suggests doing what every grad student wishes (at some point) they had the courage to do. Walk away.

3. Why am I constantly proving my intelligence?
I gave you everything
And never asked for anything
And look at me
I'm all alone (alone)
So, before you start defendin'
Baby, stop all your pretendin'
I know you know I know
So what's the point in being slow
Let's get the show on the road today

Hey
In her introduction to point #3, Clarkson uses the words, "I gave you everything." I'm pretty sure anyone in a full time grad program is willing to admit that going to grad school is more than full time. That's really why I call my dissertation my "life work." Because it's in the back of my mind almost every moment of my life.

Finally, she gets to the most grad school part of the whole song. She's talking about a dissertation defense ("before you start defendin' "). For those of you who don't know, a dissertation defense is when committee members ask the student to answer questions about a project they have completed and have been working on for the past 3-7 years, in order to graduate. I wish I could belt this out at my dissertation defense, "I know you know I know. So what's the point in being slow? Let's get the show on the road today."

Grad students of the world: Let Kelly Clarkson power you through.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Ode to Milk

Even though another episode has aired, I'm still reeling from Milk's elimination on last week's episode of "Rupaul's Drag Race." On the episode, "Oh No She Betta Don't," Ru and the queens wrote and performed original raps.



For me, Milk's performance stood out as comedic genius. See the video for her original dancing and facial gestures.

In addition, she rapped:                                  I translated:

Never been the "in" girl                                    Milk had a hard time fitting in
since she came out.                                         ever since she revealed her sexual orientation.
Then shudders in her udders                            She then took control of her (bovine) wiles
were the easy way out.                                    to escape the difficulties she was facing.
If you're looking for a dude                              Therefore, if you're looking for a man
or in the preggers mood,                                  to have sex with
Milk is in the house                                          Look no further than Milk
and them other bitches rude!                            because all other girls pale in comparison.

In her mind-boggling rap, Milk depicted herself as a sexy, gender-bending cow in order to set herself apart from the other girls. Her lyrics echo the 90s rap anthem "Waterfalls" by TLC... if TLC had advised cows to continue chasing waterfalls. I think Ru and the judges agreed that she set herself apart... but in a bad way, not my giggle every time way. DANG. You'll be missed, Milk.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

I like Li Na way better than Victoria Azarenka

If Serena stays #1, I'd defs rather have Li Na as #2. Why?

1. It's fun to cheer for the olds!

Li and Williams were laughing together at the presentation ceremony, about how two elderly women could be playing so well. Li, who calls herself a "young" 32, actually sounded older than her age when she talked about Miami's Ultra music festival that began last night. The noise, from acts like Bro Safari, Umek and BlasterJaxx, she said, made it difficult to sleep in her downtown hotel.
"So many young kids with strange dress," Li said. "Always can see the young kids like going crazy like drunk, totally. I was like, 'Wow, we really are old.' Maybe this is the fashion, but we cannot take it." [ESPN]

 2. Her only regret is not partying hard enough.

"Only one mistake: I think I should go party last night," Li said with a smile. [ESPN]
 3. She's funny. None of this, "I played really well, and I'm so surprised I won," BS. See this year's winner speech at the Australian Open:

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Redemption? Jennifer Lopez, "Gigli," and "The Fosters"

Now that I've watched an entire season of ABC Family's "The Fosters" (aka "7th Heaven" for lesbians), I'm forrealz certain that JLo decided to executive produce this whole thing to make up for her horrible lesbian (??? the movie's words, not mine) storyline in "Gigli."

If you are unfamiliar with "Gigli," please familiarize yourself with the following scene. Seriously. I know four minutes is a long time to watch a bad video, but it really just gets unbelievably worse and worse. And there's *spoiler* camel toe.


As you can infer from that scene, basically anyone involved in that movie should be looking for redemption, but I guess JLo is the only one who realized that.

Meanwhile, JLo has been interviewed as saying that "The Fosters" is about "family and love," which is true. But it's also about drugs, gun violence, undocumented immigrants, ADHD, Alzheimer's, adoption, the foster system, incest, and probably any other problem you can think of that might involve a clan of five teens and two lesbimoms.

I guess I'll give JLo her redemption (although half of it was from her 2011 dance hit "On The Floor"), because the show isn't about sex (unlike "Gigli"). Instead, she shows America that a lesbian family can be as zany, as troubled, and, yes, as loving as any straight family you know. And the show is pretty damn crazy, which is always a plus.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Disney's "Frozen" and Madonna's "Frozen" are basically the same thing. (SPOILERS, especially in the links!)

Guys, you know how way back when that crazy mormon lady said Disney's "Frozen" sucked because it was indoctrinating kids with teh gay?

I just re-watched the movie on the airplane, and I'm going to agree with her, but only because the main moral of the movie ("love will thaw a frozen heart") is basically the premise of Madonna's song "Frozen" ("you're frozen when your heart's not open").

We all know Madonna is Official SpokesSinger/indoctrinator for teh gayz (see: white pimp outfit at this year's grammys while Queen Latifah was marrying gays). In short, is Madonna pissed?

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Graduate School in a playlist

Specifically, grad school at UDub. Since I'm sharing playlists now.



In other news, Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away" is 1000% about grad school, amirite?