Issues = Orinoco Flow

I thought I was done with this blog. I was wrong.

Has anyone heard that pop song, "Issues" by Julia Michaels? It legit evokes "Orinoco Flow" by Enya.

I mean, obviously it will never match up with the 1988 classic that got the whole world singing weird, new-age-y Irish music, but it's heartening (?) to see that Enya is still inspiring new artists.

Listen for yourself:

Fun In Fall

In elementary school, every. single. fall. we used to sing a song called, "Fun In Fall." Now, this song may have been written by our music teacher or something, because I cannot find the lyrics ANYWHERE. I'm posting this now because maybe other people who went to my elementary school have been searching online for it like I have. Hopefully these people can help me crowdsource to get the full lyrics! EDIT 9/28: Thanks to a good friend (and her mother), we now have all the lyrics!!!!

FUN IN FALL

Get out your sweaters
And get out your gloves,
It's fun in fall.This is the season that everyone loves,
It's fun in fall.Play in the leaves as they fall from the trees,
But don't sniff the golden rod... Or you'll sneeze (achoo)!
School bells are ringing,
Time to learn your ABC's.It's fun in fall.

Taking long walks In the fresh nippy airIs fun in fall.Taking a trip to the Big county fairIs fun in fall.Watch as they harvestThe corn and the wheat.
It's fun in fall.????It's fun in fall.Wave your flag high
On veterans day.
Watch the parade until
they march away!
The season for football is here
Hip hooray!
It's fun in fall.
Watch as they harvestThe corn and the wheat.It's fun in fall.Eat big red applesSo juicy and sweet.It's fun in fall.On Thanksgiving DayHave a big appetite.And wish on the wishbone with...... All your might!Make jack-o-lanternsOn Halloween night.It's fun in fall.  ??? (something about a big county fair? Halloween? GET ON IT, INTERWEBZ!)???

Backstreet Boys debut: enhancedCD material!!!

Today is Easter, so I took the morning to resurrect some of my fav CDs from my tween years. When I took out my Christina Aguilera CD (self-titled, 1999), I noted that her album cover listed fan websites such as www.peeps.com/christina, www.Christina-A.com, and www.ChristinaA.howfun.com. Oh no :( :( :( ... none of the sites are functional anymore!!! Christina didn't even take the time to buy those domain names--one goes to random house publishing.

Anyway, this made me look at some of my other CDs from the burgeoning interwebz era (late 90s). Most still had mail away fan clubs. Third Eye Blind's self-titled album (1997) referenced a non-functioning website: www.slip.net/~3eb. More interesting was Destiny's Child's (self-titled, 1998) "CD Extra" which claimed to have an "interactive musical experience!" Dare I risk effing up my computer with some old-ass .exe file? YES! Unfortunately, the CD-ROM is no longer compatible with my system requirements, but I got a screen grab of the text file setup page:

"CD EXTRA is a brand-new way of experiencing music..."

Determined to find something exciting, I happily placed the Backstreet Boys (self-titled, 1996) "enhancedCD" into my disk drive and... SUCCESS! Here is my journey through the technological enhancedness of BSB.

At this point, let me apologize for the crappy video I am posting here. The images are mostly unrecognizeable, but you can hear the (albeit bad quality) audio. In my humble opinion, I think this format is somehow fitting for this blog entry. Let me know if you absolutely need better quality, and I will consider your request.

After inserting the disk, you're prompted to type in your name so that a PERSONALIZED intro page of a letter addressed to **YOUR NAME HERE** with each of the boys' signatures pops up. Audio is this NEVER BEFORE RELEASED hello to fans! "You're watching us. Live. On this en-nnn-nnn-hanced Cdeeeeee."

 

Next, the menu page asks you if you want to enter BSB world, instructions, or copy down links to the BSB web pages. THE WEB. Remember when people called it the web? I'm going to take this time to let you down a little bit. Unfortunately, none of the videos for this CDrom thingy work. The old version of Quicktime would not load on my computer. SORRY!

Menu Page for BSB enhancedCD (above).

The "General Instructions" section has many gems. I've included the sections about AOL software (above) and why the album includes a track zero with multimedia information (below)!! Not sure why the record label thought we would care, but I'm guessing that the music people had no idea how to access the enhancedCD stuff, so they didn't look at the instructions.

Of course, I next clicked through to "Backstreet Boys World," and what a world it was. BSB is so international.

Menu page for  "Backstreet Boys' World" (above).

 BIO PAGE: The bio page has about three pages of information, several photos, and a BSB quiz, which gets you a video if you get all the answers correct (which I can't access due to the old version of Quicktime). The bio has some interesting facts I never knew about BSB:

"BSB had become one of Florida's hottest live acts. They played everything from a high school gymnasium, Grad Night at Sea World, to an opening slot for  Brandy."

The bio page also had a link to "Member Profiles," where you could click on a photo of each BSB member to get a brief factoid page about the BSB member and an audio file from him!!

AJ's Page:

Did you know that AJ would describe himself as "freaky, funky, romantic?" From the audio, you can hear that his nickname is "Bone?" Gross. This is why no one liked you, AJ.


Brian's Page:
Brian thinks he is "humorous and athletic" and also likes "Desert Island CDs" by Boyz II Men, Babyface, and Backstreet Boys. So glad he's listed his own band up there.

Howie D's Page:
Howie is "caring, respectful, and honest." Wow, what a sweet guy! His favorite color is purple and he loves his mom's home cooking.

Kevin's Page:
Kevin's audio is certainly the saddest: "Hey what's up? I'm the ... oldest member of the Backstreet Boys I'm Kevin." He says it like, yeah. This sucks. He apparently is "sincere" and "serious about his work," which is probably why he's so depressed to admit he is the oldest member of a boy group.

Nick's Page:
Nick's audio is trying to be all breathy and ... sexy? Ick. He likes "drawing comic books" and among his favorite "Desert Island CDs" is "Journey Greatest Hits."

 Unfortunately we missed out on all of the following videos (Quicktime compatibility issues).

I would definitely want to see "AJ's foot run over." Also potentially "Falling off the stage."

I guess this enhancedCD's got it goin' on. Feel free to let me know what parts were your favorites in the comments below.

Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away:" Grad School Anthem

I know I already brought attention to this song in a previous post, but I just wanted to highlight that Kelly Clarkson's 2006 hit "Walk Away" is potentially the most grad school song ever.

Are you in a graduate program? Do you have any capacity to show emotions? Then you have probably thought the following:
1. I'm too stupid to be here. This is usually due to the fact that you're surrounded by insanely smart people, not because you are actually stupid.
2. I want to leave. This is because of a combination of #1, getting paid basically nothing, and working your butt off to get paid basically nothing.
3. Why am I constantly proving my intelligence? A big problem with grad school is that your personal self worth is defined by how smart other people think you are. WHO CARES?!?

Kelly Clarkson addresses all of these things in "Walk Away."

1. I'm too stupid to be here:

You've got your mother and your brother
Every other undercover
Tellin' you what to say (say)
You think I'm stupid

Clarkson's lyrics start off strong by evoking one of the grad school big three. Imagine your mother/ brother here are your profs, your advisors, or the people in charge of grading your qualifying exams. This is exactly how you feel in grad school. Grad students are the poor, "uneducated" peons of academia.

2. I want to leave:

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away

The refrain hits point #2 reallll hard. How many times have I seriously considered leaving grad school? Potentially too many to count. How many times have you considered it? Clarkson suggests doing what every grad student wishes (at some point) they had the courage to do. Walk away.

3. Why am I constantly proving my intelligence?

I gave you everything
And never asked for anything
And look at me
I'm all alone (alone)
So, before you start defendin'
Baby, stop all your pretendin'
I know you know I know
So what's the point in being slow
Let's get the show on the road today
Hey

In her introduction to point #3, Clarkson uses the words, "I gave you everything." I'm pretty sure anyone in a full time grad program is willing to admit that going to grad school is more than full time. That's really why I call my dissertation my "life work." Because it's in the back of my mind almost every moment of my life.

Finally, she gets to the most grad school part of the whole song. She's talking about a dissertation defense ("before you start defendin' "). For those of you who don't know, a dissertation defense is when committee members ask the student to answer questions about a project they have completed and have been working on for the past 3-7 years, in order to graduate. I wish I could belt this out at my dissertation defense, "I know you know I know. So what's the point in being slow? Let's get the show on the road today."

Grad students of the world: Let Kelly Clarkson power you through.

Ode to Milk

Even though another episode has aired, I'm still reeling from Milk's elimination on last week's episode of "Rupaul's Drag Race." On the episode, "Oh No She Betta Don't," Ru and the queens wrote and performed original raps.



For me, Milk's performance stood out as comedic genius. See the video for her original dancing and facial gestures.

In addition, she rapped:                                  I translated:

Never been the "in" girl                                    Milk had a hard time fitting in
since she came out.                                         ever since she revealed her sexual orientation.
Then shudders in her udders                            She then took control of her (bovine) wiles
were the easy way out.                                    to escape the difficulties she was facing.
If you're looking for a dude                              Therefore, if you're looking for a man
or in the preggers mood,                                  to have sex with
Milk is in the house                                          Look no further than Milk
and them other bitches rude!                            because all other girls pale in comparison.

In her mind-boggling rap, Milk depicted herself as a sexy, gender-bending cow in order to set herself apart from the other girls. Her lyrics echo the 90s rap anthem "Waterfalls" by TLC... if TLC had advised cows to continue chasing waterfalls. I think Ru and the judges agreed that she set herself apart... but in a bad way, not my giggle every time way. DANG. You'll be missed, Milk.

Graduate School in a playlist

Specifically, grad school at UDub. Since I'm sharing playlists now.



In other news, Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away" is 1000% about grad school, amirite?

Nothing like teeny boppers to power you through.

Iz U Down (Low?)

 It took me til Tyga's verse to realize Kid Ink is not trying to woo a guy on the down low. (Or maybe Tyga and Kid Ink have different takes on the song?) Dang, I was so excited.

Work Bitch: Grad School Edition.

You wanna graduation
You wanna dissertation
You wanna real vacation*
You better work, bitch

You wanna two bed condo
Sip wine from Carmignano
Look hot in a purple poncho
You better work, bitch

You wanna live nicer
Work a nine to fiver
Party with your adviser
You better work, bitch

(*meaning not at your parents' house.)

PS. Thanks to my grad school friends who helped out with this.

Seattle Supersonics, Capitol Hill, and the essence of the hoopster.

Last night, in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle, I attended a concert of a lifetime. Hoopsters united in possibly the most hoopster event ever, a rally to bring back the 5 years gone Seattle SuperSonics. The "Bring Our Sonics Back" concert was held at Neumo's, and featured Seattle rappers like Geo of the Blue Scholars, Nacho Picasso, and Sam Lachow.

For those of you who don't follow this stuff, the Sonics got sold to some guy who brought them to OKC, and now Seattle is hoping to get the Sacramento Kings (unlikely, IMO) to bring back the Sonics.

Decal distributed at last night's Bring Our Sonics Back concert.

H to the Oopster. What is more hoopster than cheering for a team that hasn't even existed since 2008? Imagine this: a full-to-capacity Neumo's crowd wearing the green and yellow of an extinct NBA team (Neumos is in the heart of Cap Hill, hipster-town USA), comparing jerseys (Durant rookie jersey?), cheering on Shawn Kemp (of the Sonics 1989-1997... he kicked off the party), and screaming along to Geo of the Blue Scholars' rap about Sonics players from the 90s and early 00s (hipster rap + basketball = hoopster).



Throughout the night, performers updated the crowd on the score of the OKC vs Memphis game. As Memphis rallied late in the game, the crowd's reaction was mixed. Cheers for ousting the team that was stolen from Seattle, but boos for beating the team that is really still the Sonics.

As one man in front of me proclaimed, "It's like if my wife got kidnapped by pirates. I would still love her, even if she were kidnapped."

Lil Wayne in Nicki Minaj's "High School" Video

Everyone's mentioning the "steamy" sex scene, but nobody noticed he's rocking the hobo-chic look with the old man's fisher hat and nondescript, ill-fitting shirt.

Lil Wayne's fashion statement in Nicki Minaj's "High School" video.

Also, this video is pretty bad.

So Legit

Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded- The Re-Up

Nicki Minaj

7.5/10 on my bangin' scale

Nicki Minaj, apparently, is legit. She's a bitch. In fact, she yelled at my cuz on the radio only last week. But... I don't care. I love it. In her new album (well, kind of... she re-reloaded Roman in what she calls a "Re-Up"), Nicki Minaj flaunts her ego.

At her worst, Nicki "Va Va Voom"s in her teeny bopper track, and raps alongside singer/model Cassie in "The Boys." You gotta make money somehow. This must be Wayne's entrepreneurial influence.

Hands down, the best track on the "Re-Up" is "I'm Legit." In a single song, Nicki resurrects Ciara, gives shout outs to Sinead O'Connor and Harriet Tubman, and completely persuades me that she "is the shit, legit." She's an independent bitch ("like July fourth") who is in control of her own body (she's "on the pill" and does pilates). In this song, her style is bisected--she alternately raps like a metronomed robot and a slightly more refined version of the angry speed demon we came to love in Kanye's "Monster."

Nicki goes political in "I Endorse These Strippers." She pokes fun at the election and everyone who went apeshit when she supposedly endorsed Mitt Romney in that "Mercy" remix. And lesbihonest, the only reason this song is in the good column is because who doesn't want to sing, "oo, boobs boobs boobs boobs lotta boobs?"

"Freedom," "High School," and "Up In Flames" are also decent tracks on the "Re-Up." But, her self-importance shines again: what better way to show how legit great you are than to compare yourself to Jesus in the first line of "Freedom?"

Ok, edit.

I am changing my previous statement to I just love Nicki Minaj. See: Fireball - Willow Smith feat. Nicki Minaj.





1. Nicki's outfit.
2. How did this collaboration even become a thing?
3. Chun Li and Haduken.

Three is a trend

Slaughterhouse and Cee-Lo Green are more than one year late to the 90s dance music party (see Haddaway/Eminem and Robin S/Jason Derulo).

Slaughterhouse and Cee-Lo bring a bit of innovation, however, in that they completely change the lyrics of Corona's 1994 hit "Rhythm of the Night" to "this is my mother fucking life." And if you don't know what "Rhythm of the Night" is, go M.F. find an archive of KTU ("the beat of new york") circa 90s-mid.

Fav. music trend: One word

Dear music community,

Keep making me laugh. Keep repeating yourselves (without a melody or interesting rhythm).

Love,

Laura

PS. Here are my favorite examples.


The first time I noticed this trend was in Rebecca Black's notorious "Friday":

She repeats the word "fun" four times, most likely to emphasize how fun the weekend is. Not especially remarkable, but I regard the quadruple fun as the best part of the song.


Fast forward to Big Sean's "Dance":

Big Sean repeats the word ass for most of his (excellent) chorus. That is approximately 20 times per verse. This song is revolutionary in its simplicity. I lurve it.


Most recently, I've become enamored with Rihanna's "Birthday Cake":

Same old tune 2012

My sister sang a lot of songs on our trip to New Zealand.

They're in a mix here:


It's similar in spirit to the one I posted back in 2009. Only possibly more random.

-Shobs, 2011

Rihanna is not old.

While Jay-Z and Eminem dated themselves by sampling "Forever Young" (1984) and "What Is Love" (1993), Rihanna chooses to sample vintage (2002) Avril Lavigne.

This is the only reason why I like Rihanna's latest song.

Rihanna's refrain:


Lavigne's short yodel outburst:

Some of you will understand why this is so funny to me.

Karaoke. Machine.

Summertime Internet Jamz: 2010 vs 2011.

These two songs are remarkably similar. They're both songs of the hip-hop variety that were released on the interwebz in the summer. They're both pretty lady-gay (though one is unintentionally). They both got stuck in my head for months at a time. But which wins???

1. Gucci Gucci by Kreayshawn, Summer of 2011

Pros: Swag flows from her ovaries (self proclaimed). I believe she is the latest to be brought to the kinda spotlight by Lil Wayne's marketing genius (aka he made fun of her song in a mixtape, and then Drake, one of Wayne's minions, signed her).
Cons: No message of worth. Too catchy. Cannot dance.


2. Stop Looking at My Moms by The Astronomical Kid, Summer of 2010

Pros: This kid would be difficult to pin in the always entertaining lesbian or 14-year-old boy game. I still remember this song one year after I first listened to it. This child tells it like it is. He also likes his moms.
Cons: He is actually talking about only one mother.

The verdict: Astronomical Kid wins! 2010 wins. Perhaps I am nostalgic for a time when the world economy wasn't deleted yet. STOP LOOKIN AT MY MOMS.