You wanna graduation
You wanna dissertation
You wanna real vacation*
You better work, bitch
You wanna two bed condo
Sip wine from Carmignano
Look hot in a purple poncho
You better work, bitch
You wanna live nicer
Work a nine to fiver
Party with your adviser
You better work, bitch
(*meaning not at your parents' house.)
PS. Thanks to my grad school friends who helped out with this.
Showing posts with label biostatistics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biostatistics. Show all posts
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Monday, May 24, 2010
Gross.
error sensitivity
Friday, May 7, 2010
Breaking News
I just received this official email from the biostatistics department:
did someone leave a goldfish in the biost offices? poor thing --Too much excitement for one day up in the H-wing, 's all I can say.
someone tried to feed it some bread...i don't think they eat that so unless you have fish food, please don't feed the fish.
anyway, if it's yours, please claim.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
I think I was literally assigned 99 problems
I know this is old, but I never looked at all of them. Recordings are available for most of the songs.
So we have to make a "99 problems" song in response. I nominate Karen. (Please, relay this message to Karen.)
PS. Can you tell I am doing everything to avoid studying for midterms?
PPS. They clearly use STATA. Losers.
So we have to make a "99 problems" song in response. I nominate Karen. (Please, relay this message to Karen.)
PS. Can you tell I am doing everything to avoid studying for midterms?
PPS. They clearly use STATA. Losers.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Biostat Church
As you wait in line for your tea and cookies (yes, these come FIRST so that maybe the caffeine will keep you awake during the ensuing hour and a half lecture), you wonder how long you'll be able to follow this week's seminar . The longest you ever understood anyone was 10 minutes, and the shortest was that time all you got was some lady's title page slide.
You sit down. Three minutes in. Goddamn, what the fuck do those equations mean? And the religious experience begins.
Proof:
1. Biostatistics seminars are given by gods in their fields. According to Ken Rice, that is.
2. I must take everything a lecturer says on faith to be true. Even some full professors in the department admit to understanding the lectures only one third of the time.
3. You feel guilty if you don't go. (Can you tell I was raised Catholic?)
4. You know that feeling of being completely free to think about anything for one hour? How you don't want to listen to what the priest is saying? How you look around and everyone is staring off into space? Yeah. That happens here. It's the one thing I miss since I stopped going to church. (That and the hilarious idea of the Pope.) I liked being forced to recap life, tv, friends, whatever, out of boredom.
Biostats has become my life, my work, my faith. Once again, please help me.
You sit down. Three minutes in. Goddamn, what the fuck do those equations mean? And the religious experience begins.
Proof:
1. Biostatistics seminars are given by gods in their fields. According to Ken Rice, that is.
2. I must take everything a lecturer says on faith to be true. Even some full professors in the department admit to understanding the lectures only one third of the time.
3. You feel guilty if you don't go. (Can you tell I was raised Catholic?)
4. You know that feeling of being completely free to think about anything for one hour? How you don't want to listen to what the priest is saying? How you look around and everyone is staring off into space? Yeah. That happens here. It's the one thing I miss since I stopped going to church. (That and the hilarious idea of the Pope.) I liked being forced to recap life, tv, friends, whatever, out of boredom.
Biostats has become my life, my work, my faith. Once again, please help me.
Friday, January 9, 2009
HSC, II
I know I've already posted about the wonders of the HSC (which is somehow now down to 11th in area in the world), but I still cannot get over this building.
I've discovered that wing BB has 17 floors, while many of the other wings only have between 4 and 9. My adventure to floor 17 included getting to sit in an empty waiting room in the psychiatry department while waiting for a department chair's secretary to tell us that no, he wouldn't be in today because of a family emergency. He strolled in 30 seconds later as I was packing up.
Monday, I found the almost secret labs that reside below ground only, under the entrance to the hospital. Everything in these labs is locked by key pad, but I got inside for a meeting with a physicist-turned-radiologist and saw people in strange, white outfits and huge-ass glasses, holding needles. These people were being kept behind what appeared to be bullet-proof glass. Rats might be doing human experiments in there.
Today, I found an actual secret wing of the building, wing NN. I always bring a map of the HSC along with me when I'm going into uncharted waters. NN was nowhere to be found on this map. It also wasn't on the online version of the map. Now why would there be a North-North wing (there is a NE, SE, SW, NW, which all make sense)? Let me tell you why. This is where they keep nuclear radiology, a department which surely does not exist. I sat in a nearby patient waiting room full of preggers women before I snuck into the key-padded NN wing.
Now all I need to do is find where they keep the monkeys. (True story, they have monkeys somewhere.) And figure out what the hell any of these people I'm working with are talking about.
I've discovered that wing BB has 17 floors, while many of the other wings only have between 4 and 9. My adventure to floor 17 included getting to sit in an empty waiting room in the psychiatry department while waiting for a department chair's secretary to tell us that no, he wouldn't be in today because of a family emergency. He strolled in 30 seconds later as I was packing up.
Monday, I found the almost secret labs that reside below ground only, under the entrance to the hospital. Everything in these labs is locked by key pad, but I got inside for a meeting with a physicist-turned-radiologist and saw people in strange, white outfits and huge-ass glasses, holding needles. These people were being kept behind what appeared to be bullet-proof glass. Rats might be doing human experiments in there.
Today, I found an actual secret wing of the building, wing NN. I always bring a map of the HSC along with me when I'm going into uncharted waters. NN was nowhere to be found on this map. It also wasn't on the online version of the map. Now why would there be a North-North wing (there is a NE, SE, SW, NW, which all make sense)? Let me tell you why. This is where they keep nuclear radiology, a department which surely does not exist. I sat in a nearby patient waiting room full of preggers women before I snuck into the key-padded NN wing.
Now all I need to do is find where they keep the monkeys. (True story, they have monkeys somewhere.) And figure out what the hell any of these people I'm working with are talking about.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Welcome to HSC/UWMC
The Warren G Magnuson Health Sciences Center/UW Medical Center is a building worthy of at least one post. And that's not just because I spend most of my life there now.
According to the wikipedia entry for list of largest buildings in the world, this m.f. of a building is the 10th largest in the world in area, and 3rd largest in the US. Even if this is just an urban legend, I still respect it. Probably because the building is nearly half a mile long, and I have to walk through it every day.
Note to self: if I ever get sick, go to UW Medical Center. By the time I get out of there, I'd be fit as John Basedow. I mean, those cruel bastards'd probably make me go a 1/4 of a mile just to pee.
To illustrate my point, here's a map of (most of) campus. The red circle indicates the building I'm talking about. My home. Too big to circle. But not too big for my heart.
To illustrate further, one of those tiny T shaped wings on the bottom side of the building includes the whole school of public health. That tiny (in comparison) area includes the most ballin' department (biostat), some environmental/occupational health shit (I don't know what that means either), epidemiology doodizzle, galactical health or something, and "health" "services."
And I'm man enough to admit I've only visited wings J, I, H, F, T, AA, and RR. I've still got lots of exploring to do.
According to the wikipedia entry for list of largest buildings in the world, this m.f. of a building is the 10th largest in the world in area, and 3rd largest in the US. Even if this is just an urban legend, I still respect it. Probably because the building is nearly half a mile long, and I have to walk through it every day.
Note to self: if I ever get sick, go to UW Medical Center. By the time I get out of there, I'd be fit as John Basedow. I mean, those cruel bastards'd probably make me go a 1/4 of a mile just to pee.
To illustrate my point, here's a map of (most of) campus. The red circle indicates the building I'm talking about. My home. Too big to circle. But not too big for my heart.
To illustrate further, one of those tiny T shaped wings on the bottom side of the building includes the whole school of public health. That tiny (in comparison) area includes the most ballin' department (biostat), some environmental/occupational health shit (I don't know what that means either), epidemiology doodizzle, galactical health or something, and "health" "services."And I'm man enough to admit I've only visited wings J, I, H, F, T, AA, and RR. I've still got lots of exploring to do.
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