Vegas if you're too cheap to shop, gamble, or drink much.

If you're nearly broke or just cheap, at some point you might consider taking a trip to Las Vegas. Airfare and hotels there aren't too much... but what is it like there if you refuse to spend? Let's see...

1. The first thing you're gonna want to do is walk around the strip. Since you're cheap, you'll probably get in after midnight because those flights are the cheapest. Great! At midnight it's cool out, and you can experience the sights/lights in all their glory. Fake Paris, New York, ancient Greece, Venice, Egypt, etc. You'll laugh until you pee.

The Excalibur at night. It's much grosser on the inside.

Fake Brooklyn Bridge at night (front) with woman's ass (behind).

2. Even the skeeziest of hotels (although we stayed in the cheap but quite nice Tuscany Hotel and Casino) in Vegas will probably have a pool. Since it's hot in the day, go there.

3. There are also indoor villages to explore in the daytime. By indoor villages I mean you can go to "Paris" or "Venice" or "New York" for an hour. Basically, it's Epcot with more alcohol. My personal favorite place to explore was Caesar's Palace. Walk by Cleopatra's barge, see large statues mimicking the classical style, and watch giant fish in an aquarium.

The gondoliers at the Venetian are pretty dece singers trying to keep afloat in these difficult economic times.

The Bellagio is supposed to be elegant or something, but it's just as trashy as the rest. See galloping plant horses (or whatever they have on display) in the conservatory. Leave your lead pipes at home.

 
4. Try a buffet. When you first get to Vegas, you'll have grand plans to try several buffets, but after making your way to the Bellagio buffet (known to be one of the best), you'll probably be buffeted out. Glorified college cafeteria? Yes (or so I am told. We didn't have such things at The George Washington University). A tip: Go with only one other person and sit at the bar instead of a table. You'll skip the 30 minute line that way.

5. Get a (singular) drink. I recommend going to Bond at the Cosmopolitan. It is the bar in the front with the pin-up girl-esque dancers. It has excellent DJ-ing, and with seats for around 50 people, it's not too big. You can try one of their fancy cocktails like "The Nutty Professor" or "If You Like Pina Coladas" ($12-$14, which is why we are only recommending getting one). Then find a table of excessively drunk old people and sit near them. Watching the old people dance, flirt with people at other tables, and embarrass themselves will provide hours of free entertainment.

The "If You Like Pina Coladas" at Bond. Mmm. Delicious.

6. Gamble $2 after spending an hour looking for the funniest slot machines (ex: Vampire's Embrace, The Village People, Maltese Fortune). Play only the minimum bets on 1 and 25 cent slot machines. Odds are you wouldn't win, anyway.

Maltese Fortune, among the funniest of the slot machines.

Shows are expensive, so I didn't go, but excellent talents like John Edward, Donny and Marie, Tim Allen, and the ever-present Celine Dion make me wish I'd gone to some. I encourage you to tell me how the shows are when you go.

Tourist must sees in NY/NJ

Are you introducing your girlfriend to the sights of NYC? Here are 5 must sees:

Crowds on the High Line.

The Situation from Jersey Shore at Seaside, NJ

Free shows outdoors at Lincoln Center. But this dance by Eiko and Koma was not one of my favorites. Srriusly?

The pinball museum. Asbury Park, NJ.

Original artwork at the American Museum of Natural History.

snowtime

East coast blizzard of '10: 

Gertrude Stein in the snow, just as the blizzard started.

Sledders on E 36th St.

Cars were covered near Fordham at Lincoln Center.

It was difficult to actually get to the shore part of the Jersey Shore.

 

A taxi sliding up 3rd ave.

Port Angeles: Invitational Sand Sculpture Competition

History of the radio (what an old contraption).

This one was supposed to be the epic battle of robot vs person. The person is the sand sculptor. I think they are in love or something. Or maybe the robot is sad its owner died. Who knows.

This one is probably from a movie. I never watch movies.

I don't really understand this one, but maybe it's because I haven't seen I Robot. Movies.

Planet of the Apes. LOOK AT THE APE'S HEAD.

Alien vs. Bender, clearly the most detailed.

Leia and Luke, just chillin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cool timez. Which is your fav?

Silly bandz are the coolest

When I was home, my sister introduced me to the silly band. For those of you who are clueless like I was, these bands are all the rage among the youngsters. You know, pog style.

My sister had sweet DINOSAUR silly bandz. I decided I needed some, too. I endeavored to search every CVS and Duane Reade (pronounced dwan-A reed-A) in a 7 mile venture on the island of Manhattan. My search proved unfruitful (except for ripoff versions in Chinatown).

Instead I settled for 'shaped rubber bands' that I found at a ShopRite supermarket in New Jersey.

Their schtick: They look like colorful rubber bands on your arm.

But... when you take them off, they are AWESOME SHAPES.

I seriously think these things are super sweet. What is wrong with me? Am I turning 7 this weekend? I think not.

Nashville Eats: Perfect Pig

About a 40 minute drive out of Nashville lives Carl's Perfect Pig, a legendary Bar-B-Que joint. The ribs were prolly the best thing I tried, but everything was darn good. I think I'll just post photos (copious amount of meat to follow).

Meat and Three: Pulled pork, mac-n-cheese, baked potato (w/ sour cream, cheese, bacon), turnip greens ($7.50)

 Meat and Three: Ribs, cucumbers & onions, corn, baked? beans (~$11)

Meat and Three: Pulled pork, fried okra, turnip greens, mac-n-cheese ($6.50)

Full slab of ribs. (~$15)

8.5/10 on the bangin' scale.

Nashville Eats: The Picnic

 Welcome to the refined South, ladies, welcome.

That's what you think when you walk into the Picnic Cafe at the far end of the parking lot of the Hill shopping center in the Belle Meade neighborhood of Nashville. Blue and white china plates on the walls add to the... dare I say...almost-old-lady-English-tea-room vibe I get as I look around. But, no, not quite. 

Decor at the Picnic, Nashville, TN

The Picnic is an order at the register and we'll bring it to you establishment, but the table setup is much fancier than you would expect at such a place. You feel inclined to gossip for an afternoon at some of the sunny tables near the windows, or on the patio outside.

Tables at The Picnic, Nashville, TN

Before arriving I'd been told to try the chicken salad and the special The Picnic punch. Chicken salad. Delicious. Picnic punch. Sweet, but not too sweet. I had to go back for refills. I also tried the pimento cheese sandwich, which was also quite delicious. It was the first time I'd tried pimento cheese, but I can definitely say that if all pimento cheese tasted like this, I'd eat it all the time.

Chicken salad sandwich and pimento cheese sandwich at The Picnic, Nashville

Overall, I'd give The Picnic an 8/10 on the bangin' scale, for a combination of food (Please sir, I wahnt some more?), ambiance (because china plates, matching tablecloths,  paper doilies are where it's at!), and experience (OMG this exists!).

Vancouver 2010 in photos

We got to meet two of the super-cute mascots of the 2010 games.

 

Zipline over a central square in downtown Vancouver

The Olympic Torch, aka cauldron.

We saw the US women obtain one of their two victories; Here, the super-adorable China team beats the German team.

Vancouver department stores show glittery curling fever.

Photos courtesy of Betsy. I forgot my camera battery.

More cowbell

Olympic women's curling: pretty durn awesome. The spectators have no clue what a curling game is supposed to be like (aka silent, pretty boring), so they scream/have fun, and make curlers cry because they can't hear their skip yelling "HURRY HARD" like none other.

Three best loud-ass moments of the 2pm February 20th draw:

1. Thousands of spectators simultaneously yell "HARD," when US skip Debbie McCormick needs some help for an end's final shot.
2. All 6,000 spectators stomp and do the wave, much to the dismay of the curling teams.
3. Pretty much everyone in Vancouver Olympic Centre buys a cowbell. And rings it the whole time.

 The US beat GBR 6-5, although they got pwned this morning versus Canada. A bunch of other teams played, too. The Chinese team made some hella impressive shots...

Photo courtesy of Megan. More photos to come, hopefully.

Portland in photos

Clay head sculptures in 10 minutes (only $9) at the Saturday market. (You get what you wait/pay for)

Bacon maple doughnut at Voodoo Doughnuts. Cock-n-balls doughnut partially visible in the background.

Voodoo Jelly Doughnut at Voodoo Doughnut
Country music and dancing at the Laurelthirst Pub

Delicious scrambled egg concoctions at Utopia Cafe.
MC Escher exhibit and Tattoos at Portland Art Museum.

Flowers

Skagit County Tulip Festival. Where: One hour drive north of Seattle.

A pointer: You prolly shouldn't go before all the tulips bloom.

Aside from that, it's pretty. PRETTY JAWSOME! Check out: 1. some kites (with mostly non-blooming tulips), 2. mad daffodils that are in bloom, and 3. the tulip/USA shrine (aka, we're not the Danish tulip growers, bitches!) at which most can only make hilarious faces.