By Betsy.I will state this as plainly as possible. A trip to Burgermaster is a trip to the Red States/South/Suburban Sprawl/Anywhere That’s Not Seattle.1
Burgermaster declares its cultural allegiances early via an imposing Texas Longhorn sign.2 Greasy wonders abound as soon as you enter the door. The only hint that one is on the coast would be the Dungeness Crab Sandwich offering. The first thing that I noticed was a salad bar. I was thrilled to discover that its offerings were almost exactly like the Shoney’s 3 of my youth: lots of meat products, cheese, cottage cheese, and pasta, and very few vegetables. I proceeded to make a plate of iceberg lettuce, croutons (which tasted vaguely alcoholic…any food buffs know what that was about?), bacon, peppers, mushrooms, bean sprouts, cheese and lots of ranch dressing. Unfortunately, I also put some gray-ish chicken on the salad after mistaking it for mushrooms. It was a little gross even for me, but that’s life in the Burgermaster. Clearly a salad full of animal products is not a proper meal, so I went forward to place my burger order. I opted for the traditional cheeseburger meal, which came with fries and a coke.
The actual content of this food was rather unremarkable, but the portions were properly American, which is to say ridiculously huge. I’ve gotten spoiled by 4 Seattle portions. There are not many fast food places near me, and Dick’s, while delicious, is still serving up the same portions as they did in 1954.5 These were normal, contemporary American portions. Could I finish? No. Was I stuffed? Yes. Was I stuffed despite walking 6 miles total that day? Yes. Will I go back? Yes!
Bonus points go to the fact that everyone looks like they are from the Red States. Fellow Red Staters will know what I mean.
Total Score 8.5/10 on the banging scale.
1 I’m in the middle of a book challenging the notion of a “Red State,” but for the time being, let’s just say that Red States exist. Because they do. Sort of.
2Ironically, the Texas Longhorns reside in “smoke it/pass it/keep it weird” Austin, TX, but let’s not belabor that point (see above footnote)
3 http://www.shoneys.com/
4 resigned myself to
5 that would be before 2/3 of the US population was overweight or obese.
4 comments:
I fail at making footnotes, sorry. :(
Footnotes, Laura? I think I distinctly remember someone making fun of me for this....P.S. that place does sound pretty banging.
clearly i dont even know how to use them :P
I love the footnotes!!!! And the red states! And Shoney's salad bar!1
1 Actually not so much love, as feel nostalgic for it. Especially eating plates full of Jell-O with a straw!
(this was my attempt at a footnote)
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