you wont believe your eyes

There was only about 1-2 inches this morning.

Haddaway has street cred

This video is not new anymore, but I like it because... It samples Haddaway, mutha fuckas. Haddaway.

For some reason, I really like Lil Wayne. I think he is a marketing genius, even if he is gonna die soon from cough syrup overdose. He sure knows how to make money, and I respect that.

Then there's Eminem. He clearly can rap. I might say he kills it in this song. But, can you really kill Haddaway? Haddaway will never die. PS. Also, remember Em is old. Because he actually knows who Haddaway is. (But he's not as old as Jay-Z, who remembers "Forever Young.")



But seriously, Haddaway's song/video. Way better. Apparently Haddaway's lover(s) are vampires. Also, he has electric powers. Storm (Or the MK III ripoff, Sindel) style. And he is rockin the open vest look. Oh, the ninties.

DC

Do you remember the Fourteen Commandments of Destiny's Child in "The Writing's On the Wall"?

1. Thou shall not hate.
2. Thou shall pay bills.
3. Thou shall confess.
4. Thou shall not bug.
5. Thou shall not give in to temptation.
6. Thou shall not think you got it like that.
7. Thou shall not leave me wondering.
8. Thou shall know when he's got to go.
9. Thou shall move on to the next.
10. Thou shall get your party on.
11. Thou shall say my name.
12. Thou shall know she can't love you.
13. If thou can wait, then thou shall stay.
14. Thou shall cherish life.

Perhaps I can appreciate these more now that I'm not 12 years old anymore. Ingenius. My personal favorite is "Thou shall not think you got it like that."

Maybe I should pull a "Living Oprah"-type stunt, and only live by these 14 commandments...

I love-hate Nicki Minaj.

She sounds like a child. She looks terrifying. She wears a lot of makeup, usually has weird hair. Basically, she's the rap version of Snooki. Who am I talking about? Nicki Minaj.

Her solo songs definitely suck. Like seriously. "Your Love"? WTF WAS THAT CRAP? (I refuse to even link to it!) That's not what Cher invented the auto-tune for!

So basically, I'm just gonna talk about how I enjoy/cannot stand her musical menages.

1. "Bedrock" Young Money (the group started by Lil Wayne that has like a gazillion young rappers in it, including Nicki Minaj)



Nicki makes her rap entrance at 1:30. I encourage you to start watching then (although Mr. Wayne's reference to a soccer team and Mr. Lloyd's lyric about being Mr. Flinstone are also amusing). As the scene opens, Nicki adjusts a large bling necklace that says "Barbie" in script letters, drawing attention to the fact that her cleavage is like... whaaaaa. But that aside, we note that she will be playing her sexy little girl persona for the evening, thank you very much. She does a fake baby laugh, she's "so pretty like," and she pretend rides a "pedal bike". Are we supposed to want to make the beds of little girls rock? AHHHHHHH SO BAD! Or is she trying to make someone else's bed rock? I am confused. But then she kills it:

He say, Nicki don't stop you the bestest,
And I just be coming off the top asbestos.

(Asbestos is pronounced to rhyme with bestest.) Where did that come from? <3 <3 <3's. I am terrified of asbestos. I keep my asbestos training certificate on my fridge.

2. "My Chick Bad" Ludacris feat. Nicki Minaj



You should probably listen to the whole song because it's Luda, and he clearly outshines Nicki in this song. But... this video portrays the scary Nicki. But anyway, Nicki starts around 2:10. Oh, she's supposed to be scary. She raps about scary things, you know, Freddy Krueger, Jason, Lisa Leslie??? WTF. But aside from the stupid barbie scissorhands costume and the marginally hilarious rap.... Why is she an unblinking robot? A question for the ages.

3. "Bottoms Up" Trey Songz feat. Nicki Minaj



Start at 2:40. This song is getting much airplay on Movin92.5 these days, and I couldn't help but notice that it is the perfect blend of both sexy child AND terrifying monster (still unblinking robot, too). Also, she is more like Snooki than ever, cuz she is a drunk (but, also like Snooki, a good-hearted one. "We give a lotta money to the babies out in Haiti"). This is probably her best rap of the bunch, because it is completely unstructured, which I guess is the point, because she's supposed to be hella tanked. But the scariest part is when she does her baby sing. The baby sing. Listen to the baby sing. Why is it so off key?  This is exactly what I would imagine Snooki sings like.

And then Nicki Minaj talks to Anna Nicole Smith. In her drunken-rap.

Why is the Madonna episode of Glee still so good?
Discuss.

Wins

WNBA Finals game 2, from the cheap seats.

The Seattle Storm win the WNBA championship, and I win because now I get to go on a cruise.

Homegrown: makes you grow.

(7.5/10 on my bangin' scale)

This weekend we paid a visit to the Melrose Market street festival. I've been pretty excited about this place ever since I saw the heads up about this place in the NYT.

The festival sucked. Every time we went inside for like 15 minutes, we'd miss a whole band's set. There wasn't that big of a crowd despite the fact it was nice out. (Maybe they were all at the concurrent Storm game? Maybe Seattle is too huppity (hip/uppity?) to go to something that is basically a giant Grand Opening?) Their extra food tent (yes, singular) consisted of $12 lamb pitas. I don't care what chef prepared them. They are still basically a gyro. And they are still twelve dollars.

Lucky for us, Homegrown filled that empty space inside. Maybe I'm confusing my expectations and my stomach, but... whatever. Yummy in my tummy is better than pretty much anything. Foodz, in pictures:

Meatloaf BLT: meatloaf, BLT, cheese, some kind of horseradish, "hazelnut romesco" (wtf is that) on toasted french bread.

This sandwich was a bit ambitious. It could have gone a bit wrong what with all the people waiting (it WAS supposed to be a festival, goshdarnit). Personally, it was pretty good, but there were a few too many flavors at once. I'd tell them to take a couple out, and it'd be perfection.

Beet Salad: beets, fennel, greens, goat cheese, and LAVENDER vinaigrette

The lavender was pretty much the only curve ball, but it was surprisingly good. PS. The above sandwich and this salad were "half-sized" so you could get both for $10. By half-sized, they probably meant half the size of me, or something. Effin huge.

Prosciutto, melon, and burrata grilled cheese: What the name says it is.

Sorry for the photo of partially eaten food, but this shit was the 3-pointer-at-2.5-seconds-left-in-the-4th of the group. Srriusly. How it wasn't half eaten by the time I pulled out my camera was beyond me. Om. Nom. Nom. Nom. Om. Nom. Nom. Om. Om. Nom. Nom. Om. Sweet/salty. Gooey/crispy. Me likey.

Go there.